Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The Right Man for the Right Job

New York – John Bolton’s first day on the job as Unites States Ambassador to the U.N. sparked fireworks never before seen in this normally dignified assemblage. Bolton used his welcoming speech to verbally attack the U.N., Cuba, Syria, Iran and North Korea.

Bolton was booed 31 times during his five-minute speech to the General Assembly and several small objects believed to be pens and paper clips were thrown at the new ambassador. A dart from a blowgun was also found stuck to the back of Bolton’s chair.

The ambassadors from Syria and Korea voiced angry protests to Bolton’s speech, while the Cuban ambassador, Emile Agorre, jumped over his desk and challenged Bolton to a fistfight. Bolton had to be restrained by several nearby members. Calm was restored momentarily until Bolton saw the Iranian ambassador using his hand to make an “L” for “loser.” This sparked a second round of insults and pushing and shoving incidents, after which, Secretary General Koffi Annan called for an immediate recess.

Asked about the raucous start to Bolton’s tenure, President Bush said Bolton was doing a fine job and was carrying out the wishes of the administration to take a more “pro-active” approach to deliberations. “Bolton,” said the President, “is perfect for the job.”

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