Showing posts with label American conservatives. Show all posts
Showing posts with label American conservatives. Show all posts

Thursday, March 03, 2016

The Rise of Fascism American Style

Love him or hate him (and I don’t think there is any in between), Donald Trump has stirred up the normally stagnant political waters like no one in my lifetime. For those of us appalled by the idea of an unhinged, racist real estate mogul sitting in the Oval Office, it feels like we’re watching an out of control train careening down a mountainside to its inevitable explosive demise. Even Republicans like Mitt Romney are starting to panic, although, as others have pointed out, Trump is the monster the Republican Party built and there’s no way they’re going to get him back in the lab to take him apart.

The most frightening aspect of the Donald’s run is how his message of hate, exclusion, racism and violence resonates with so many Republicans. I’m sure intellectuals and leftists in Germany during the thirties were thinking the same thing. “How can so many German’s find Hitler and his policies appealing?”

Although the lion’s share of blame for Trump rests with the Republican Party, Democrats have to shoulder some responsibility as well. Over the past thirty years, Democrats have failed to offer a clear alternative vision to an American public growing  more and more disillusioned with politics and politicians. The problem exists on both the left and right, and it is manifesting itself in support for the non-establishment politicians, Trump and Sanders. Our government is dysfunctional, and Americans are slowly realizing that they can’t count on the government to heal itself, and are opting for true outsiders. The problem is, it’s left the door open for a guy like Trump with his fascist tendencies and racist appeal, a charismatic strong man promising to fix things in Washington and make America great again.

What Democrats know and now some Republicans are starting to realize is that the ego-driven Trump is playing a very dangerous game, and playing the conservative base for suckers. The only one who wants to see Donald Trump become President is Donald Trump’s ego.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Health alert: OH (Obama Hatred) reaching dangerous levels in U.S.

The media has remained strangely quiet about the spread of a debilitating disease afflicting millions of Americans. Symptoms include loss of logic, bouts of uncontrollable anger, delusions and occasionally the complete shutdown of all mental processes. The disease is Obama Hatred (OH), and it targets politically conservative Americans across the nation.

The origin of the disease can be traced back to the 2008 Presidential election results and the moment when Barack Obama was declared the victor. Millions of low functioning Americans were instantly afflicted with OH, and most remain infected to this day.

From shutting down the U.S. government to unceasing attacks on Obamacare to Benghazi, sufferers of OH display symptoms of unbridled hostility and disrespect toward President Obama. Unable to control their actions or subdue their racism, those afflicted with OH work tirelessly to undercut, punish and embarrass the President of the United States.

An extremely virulent strain affects Arizona Republicans, who just recently passed a bill in the state legislature that would prohibit the state from enforcing or cooperating with Obama’s executive orders unless they were affirmed by the Republican-controlled U.S. Congress. It’s as close to a state seceding from the Union as it gets.

The Republican members of Congress to whom the Arizona Republicans refer to are no less afflicted with OH. They recently invited Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to speak to Congress without consulting the President, and within the past few days sent a letter to Iran’s leadership telling them not make any nuclear proliferation deals with Obama because…it’s Obama.

The sad news is that there is no known cure for OH. Carriers are immune to logic, common sense and bipartisanship. The advice of health officials to the uninfected is to avoid watching FOX News, never vote for Republicans and always base your opinions on facts rather then ideology.

Friday, June 13, 2014

One does not simply join the Tea Party

Dear John,

First, let me thank you for your interest in joining the Tea Party. Despite the lies you’ve heard from the liberal press, we are a “big tent” party and welcome all angry Caucasian English-speaking Christians. As a formality, we do ask those who are interested in joining our crusade to take a short survey to make sure the Tea Party is the right home for you. Thank you.

Man-made climate change is:

A communist plot
An alien mind-control experiment
Al Gore’s revenge for the 2000 election
Illuminati code for “Build conservative concentration camps”
A plot by elite liberal scientists to make you look stupid

Barack Obama is:

A Kenyan-born communist/socialist/terrorist
The spawn of Satan
The anti-Christ
A hologram
An uppity negro

Ronald Reagan was:

America’s greatest president
The greatest human being ever
A leader sent directly from heaven
The first conservative saint
God in human form

The second amendment to the Constitution gives Americans the right to:

Carry guns in day care centers
Shoot scary dark skinned people without cause
Blow up stuff
Enshrine violence as a time-honored American value
All of the above

I would solve America’s immigration problem by:

Building walls, planting mines and stretching razor wire
Requiring all immigrants to have an IQ of 180 or better
Measuring the craniums of all potential immigrants
Requiring the tattoo of an “I” on the forehead of all immigrants

America’s most trusted source for news and political commentary is:

Alex Jones
Rush Limbaugh
Ann Coulter
My cat
Stephan Colbert

America is exceptional because:

We’re the only nation officially endorsed by God
We saved everybody’s ass in WWII
We say so
We invented freedom

Monday, May 06, 2013

What the hell are Republicans so angry about?


A recent poll conducted by Fairleigh Dickenson University asked various audiences if they felt that armed revolt in the near future might be necessary to protect our liberties. According to the results, a surprising number of Americans, nearly 30 percent, said yes. When it came to Republicans, however, the number jumped to 44 percent. Almost half of the Republicans asked think we might need to don camouflage, load up the 12-gauge and take to the streets of Des Moines. Wha…?

Here’s my question. What the hell are Republicans so angry about? Yeah, they lost the last two presidential elections, but the previous eight years were all about them. Republicans own the House of Representatives and have stopped or stalled a good deal of Obama’s initiatives, including background checks. State governments around the country are working vigorously to turn back the clock to pre-Roe v. Wade America, and school boards across the South are rewriting school textbooks to include conservative fables in place of facts. Nearly 80 percent of Americans identify themselves as Christians.

My guess is that a major source of strong negative feelings among conservatives is the palpable hatred of that socialist, Kenyan, America-hating Barack Obama. It doesn’t matter that the man is a very, very moderate Democrat, that he’s left in place many of Bush’s national security measures, that he’s gone so far as to accept Social Security cuts in his budget proposal, that he’s bombing suspected terrorists with drones across the Mideast, he’s a black man with a funny name sitting in the Oval Office.

Add to this the hysterical right-wing media machine attacking the President 24/7 and I guess you have a rebellion in the making. Not to worry. The revolution will never materialize. Go back and look at video of the Republican National Convention and scan the crowd. You’ll find a sea of overweight, silver haired white people who spend their evenings watching Dancing With the Stars, not reading revolutionary tracts and breaking down assault rifles.

Republicans may be angry, but it is a misdirected, personal anger that will not translate to an organized uprising. Somewhere deep down in the dark recesses of their psyche I think they realize they are losing the battle with progress, and while maddening, they understand that defeat is inevitable and armed resistance futile.

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Fed up with liberal America? Your new Eden awaits you.


A lot of conservatives are really, really upset that Obama won reelection, and there have been more than a few overwrought conservative bloggers and pundits threatening to leave the United States. My first reaction is, “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out,” but then I wondered where on this planet would they go? Who would welcome our Calvinist Wingnuts into their communities?

Canada? Although our giant neighbor to the north has listed to the political right in recent years, it still has a long history of experimenting with socialism and openness that I think would make many of our gun-toting evangelical Tea Baggers uncomfortable. Latin or South America? Lazy brown people with tainted drinking water. Africa? Hahahahahahah. Australia? There’s a possibility. Oh wait. They have compulsory voting, universal healthcare, no death penalty, evolution is taught in schools and the PM is a female, unmarried atheist. Not working for us. Europe? Ground zero of the secular, socialist, one world government experiment? Don’t think so. Russia? Nyet. Let’s just check Asia off of our list right now.

Okay, what does that leave? Ah, right. There is one part of the world that might work. Women are second-class citizens. Check. Religion dominates all aspects of society. Check. Guns and other weapons are prevalent and easy to obtain. Check. Men dominate government and dictate laws. Check.

Welcome, evangelical Americans. Welcome to the one part of the world where you will feel completely comfortable and at home: The Middle East.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Rep. Todd Akin wants to party like it’s 1799


Are we on the verge of our own American Dark Ages? We now have a major political party, one of only two allowed to exist within our deliberately constrained process of elections, that turns its back on science and rational thinking. Hijacked philosophically by the Tea Party and conservative Christians and funded by corporate America (that has its own agenda), the Republican Party has abandoned reality for a patchwork quilt of religious dogma, superstition, pseudo science and wishful thinking. The result is a continuous barrage of jaw dropping, astonishingly stupid statements not confined to the paid bloviaters of talk radio, but now bubbling up through the sludge to our elected officials sitting in leadership positions in the legislative branch of government. The latest comes from Rep. Todd Akin (R-Mo.), who claimed in a television interview that victims of "legitimate rape" rarely get pregnant.

"From what I understand from doctors, that's really rare," said Akin said of pregnancy caused by rape. "If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. But let's assume maybe that didn't work or something. I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be on the rapist."

While some might assume that such a ridiculous notion was pulled from thin air (so thin it resulted in a lack of oxygen to the brain), research by blogger Justine Larbalestier reveals that Akins belief is actually grounded in historical precedent. In fact, it reflects a long-debunked eighteenth century assertion based on nothing more than biased male conventional wisdom.

Larbalestier pulls this section from Thomas Laqueur’s book “Making Sex:”

Samuel Farr, in the first legal-medicine text to be written in English (1785), argued that, “without an excitation of lust, or enjoyment in the venereal act, no conception can probably take place.” Whatever a woman might claim to have felt or whatever resistance she might have put up, conception in itself betrayed desire or at least a sufficient measure of acquiescence for her to enjoy the venereal act. This is a very old argument. Soranus had said in second-century Rome that “if some women who were forced to have intercourse conceived . . . the emotion of sexual appetite existed in them too, but was obscured by mental resolve,” and no one before the second half of the eighteenth century or early nineteenth century question the physiological basis of this judgment. The 1756 edition of Burn’s Justice of the Peace, the standard guide for English magistrates, cites authorities back to the Institutes of Justinian to the effect that “a woman can not conceive unless she doth consent.” It does, however, go on to point out that as matter of law, if not of biology, this doctrine is dubious. Another writer argued that pregnancy ought to be taken as proof of acquiescence since the fear, terror, and aversion that accompany a true rape would prevent an orgasm from occurring and thus make conception unlikely.

So we, the voters, are handing the levers of governance to individuals whose belief systems are rooted in an era when female hysteria was a common diagnosis and masturbation was considered a serious public health threat. In other words, we are rewarding stupidity rather than relegating it to obscurity. America has long had a strain of anti-intellectualism, but we are carrying that regressive notion even further by electing officials who vocally denounce science (climate-change deniers) and revel in their superstitious beliefs.

It’s maddening that the society that put the first person on the moon is now electing people who want to dismantle public education and replace it with Taliban-style religious indoctrination. People like Akin (and Bachmann, Ryan, Cantor, Pence and so many others) are attacking the very things that made this country the envy of the world at one time. Not anymore. Today we are in the midst of America’s decline, which is being funded by corporate America and abetted by a misinformed, fearful public.

Ironically, the eighteenth century was the height of the Enlightenment, while in America, the twenty-first century heralds a new Dark Ages.

Late for work. Now where did I put my powdered wig and snuff box?