Unveiling the Cheney Bust: U.S. Honors an International Criminal

On Friday, the House of Representatives unveiled a marble bust of Dick Cheney in the Emancipation Hall of the U.S. Capital. Instead of putting Cheney and the rest of the Bush administration in jail for crimes against humanity, he is honored with a statue and lauded by those attending the ceremony (including Vice President Joe Biden) for his illusionary service to his country.

To mark this display of unbelievable hubris, I offer this new definition of American Exceptionalism: If you are exceptionally rich and powerful, you can get away with anything.

More Iraq Lies Unearthed

A newly released memo shows that in 2002 then British Prime Minister Tony Blair pledged his support to the Bush Administration for an invasion of Iraq a full year before the attack took place. During that year, he lied continuously to the British people claiming that he was seeking peaceful means for dealing with Iraq, while he had actually committed himself to be part of an armed invasion of that country.

That’s bad enough, but it also strengthens the argument made by some that the Bush administration had been planning an attack on Iraq from day one. Depending on where you stand, 9/11 was the fortunate Pearl Harbor moment that allowed the administration an opening to invade Iraq, or was a government orchestrated event intended for just that purpose.

It has to make one wonder. We know Cheney and Bush wanted very badly to bring down Saddam Hussein, that they were loathe to leave the vast oil reserves in Iraq to an avowed enemy and (from the PNAC documents) wanted a strong military presence in the Middle East. So along comes 9/11, and in our moment of panic, the media and the American people gave the neocons in the administration a blank check to take away our Constitutional rights at home and kill hundreds of thousands of people in the Mideast. Doesn’t that strike you as an amazing coincidence?  On a September morning early in Bush’s first term, the physical manifestations of our economic and military might are attacked and thousands of Americans die, and this event allows him to do exactly what he and Cheney and the other administration necons want to do. 

For me, it is too much of a coincidence. From my reading and research, I am convinced 9/11 was an inside job, a false flag event, intended to gain support for an illegal invasion and occupation of Iraq.

Fourteen Years Without Justice

As we spend another 9/11 remembering the horrible death and destruction of that morning 14 years ago, it’s also important to call attention to the ever growing body of evidence that disputes the official narrative of that day’s events. I am more convinced than ever that 9/11 was carried out by a faction of neoconservatives inside and outside of Washington, D.C., headed by Dick Cheney, who needed a pretext to send the U.S. military into the Middle East to secure oil fields and facilities and dispose of Saddam Hussein.

For those of you who still find that assertion shocking, all I can do is urge you to study the evidence presented on various 9/11 Truth websites, especially Architects and Engineers for 9/11 Truth and Pilots for 9/11 Truth. There you will find experts in their respective fields presenting compelling, and in some cases, irrefutable evidence that the 9/11 Commission’s official report is deeply flawed and inaccurate. The report, you’ll learn, was a sham, conducted not to learn the truth, but to reinforce a pre-drawn conclusion supplied by Bush and Cheney. Its assertions were so spurious and contrived that even former members of the commission today admit it got a whole lot of things wrong.

The question that many people have about 9/11 is how could American’s do such a horrible thing to other Americans? How could they possibly live with themselves after murdering 3,000 innocent people? It’s not a mystery to me at all. They believed what they were doing was right and necessary. In their deluded worldview, expounded on in the 1997 report Rebuilding America’s Defenses, taking out unfriendly Middle East rulers and seizing their oil was a neocon (and Israeli) top priority, but they knew the American people would not support an unprovoked invasion, so they needed a new Pearl Harbor, and they created one. They had to create an incident so horrible, so stigmatizing that the Americans would demand military action. Killing thousands of Americans and attacking the Pentagon did the trick.

As we all know, the neocons who were so successful in starting a war had no idea what to do once we got there or how our actions would impact the larger region. Our occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan proved to be a disaster that Cheney and other criminals are now trying to blame on Obama. Instead of spending their life behind bars where they belong, Cheney and his cronies are being hosted on talk shows and treated like political wise men. 

The truth is, 9/11 was an inside job and the criminals who committed the crime of the new century are still at large. That’s what this day should be significant for.

Dick Cheney thinks Americans are the April fools

Speaking to a crowd of Republicans recently, former Vice President Dick Cheney said that the Obama administration has been the worst in 70 years. He told them he expected the Iranian nuclear negotiations to fail and argued that America's traditional allies in the region have “all lost faith and confidence” in the U.S.

This is not an April Fools Day joke. I don’t think. This is the everyday foolishness spewed by the war criminal Cheney. He and his little lapdog Bush lied to the American people to gain support for war, illegally invaded Iraq, had no post-war plan, incited long-time rivals to war with each other, inspired the creation of ISIS, gave Saudi Arabia a pass although all but two of the 9/11 hijackers were from that country, lost billions of dollars in Iraq, broke international laws by torturing people, began the drone program, created the Patriot Act and Homeland security, which flung the door wide open to illegal mass surveillance, and then handed this hot mess over to Obama in 2008.

And Cheney has the audacity to claim that the Obama Administration is the worst in 70 years. Cheney and Bush and others should be in prison for war crimes, not running around the country trying to salvage their nightmarish legacy by shifting the blame to others. It’s like Hermann Goering traveling around Germany after WWII blaming the devastation of Europe on the allies. And, as an aside, Goering was a decorated fighter pilot during WWI, not a cowardly draft dodger like Cheney who was more than willing to send Americans to die in the Middle East.

Cheney, Bush and their merry band of neocons are evidently too big to jail, despite their horrendous crimes.

Justice is blind in America. Ha, April fools.

Cheney the Heartless

What words can you use to describe a man who swears that torture works, when there is not a shred of evidence to corroborate that claim, says that given the opportunity he’d torture people again, and who blithely dismisses the fact that innocent people were tortured and murdered in America’s name? Could it be…Satan?

Dick Cheney isn’t Satan, but he is one of the most despicable humans on the planet. On top of his disgusting, full-throated defense of torture, the man was absolutely eager to throw his former boss (in title only) George Bush under the bus by letting the world know that he was fully aware of every dark and dirty deed committed by the CIA.

Obviously, Cheney the Heartless is playing the only card he has in his deck. He has no choice but to aggressively defend his actions despite the insanity of that position. He committed international crimes against humanity, but he also knows that there is little to no chance that the current administration will do anything about it. For all his failings as a human being, and maybe because of them, Cheney is unmatched at political maneuvering and manipulation. Because torture was allowed to continue by Obama, the current president has no appetite to seek a path to justice that could eventually find its way back to him.

With the appointment of George Bush as President in 2000, Cheney and his merry band of neocons took advantage of their long desired opportunity to mold the executive branch into their warped image. The attack on the Twin Towers conveniently provided them with the opportunity to give the President new and unprecedented powers and at the same time send troops into the Middle East to settle old scores and take control of oil-rich lands. All of it has proven an utter disaster for this country and the rest of the world.

No, Dick Cheney isn’t Satan, but he has done more than any other single person to destroy all that was once seen as good about America, and turn this country into lawless, war-loving international pariah.

The Comedy Event of the Year: Dick Cheney's “Save My Ass” tour

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Dick Cheney, one of the funniest comedians to come out Washington, D.C. in years, announced the start of his national comedy tour, “Save My Ass.” Dick will bring his bizarre take on life and famous deadpan delivery to comedy clubs and newsrooms across America.

The publicist for the tour promises Dick will deliver many of his most famous routines plus new material that will leave audiences in a state of unyielding laughter.

“One of the new routines that people haven’t heard before relates to the bankruptcy of GM,” notes the press release. “Dick admits the Bush administration deliberately decided to pass the buck on GM and let President Obama deal with the problem. It’s timely, and too, too funny.”

The publicist also reveals another new bit called, “Blame the Other Dick.” With his patented sneer, Dick puts the blame for 9/11 squarely on the shoulders of Dick Clarke, the head of counterterrorism programs under Clinton and Bush. The set up begins with the former VP saying, “Clarke missed it when it came to foreseeing 9/11.” Then Dick brings down the house by reciting the titles of e-mails Clarke sent to Bush and company prior to 9/11.

“Bin Ladin Public Profile May Presage Attack” (May 3)
“Terrorist Groups Said Co-operating on US Hostage Plot” (May 23)
“Bin Ladin’s Networks’ Plans Advancing” (May 26)
“Bin Ladin Attacks May Be Imminent” (June 23)
“Bin Ladin Planning High-Profile Attacks” (June 30)
“Planning for Bin Ladin Attacks Continues, Despite Delays” (July 2)

The punch line? “The only thing Clarke didn’t do was bring Bin Laden to the Oval Office to discuss the time and date of the event.” Badda bing.

The finale is said to be a comedic coup de grace. After nearly eight years trying to convince the world there was a link between Saddam Hussein and Al-Qaeda despite the evidence, Dick turns the tables on everyone and says, “On the question of whether or not Iraq was involved in 9/11, there was never any evidence to prove that.” There’s nothing this man won’t say or do to get a laugh.

It’s no wonder Dick has earned the moniker, “The hardest working war criminal in show business.”

Cheney Shoots Self in Face. Face Will Not Press Charges.

Cheyenne, WY – Vice President Cheney shot himself in the face today while hunting pheasant southeast of Cheyenne. The injury is not life threatening, doctors say, but will result in facial scaring and the need to wear an eye-patch, which, according to doctors, lifted Cheney’s spirits when he heard the news.

Asking to remain anonymous, a fellow hunter in Cheney’s group described what happened.

“We had all been drinking for a day or two — can’t remember how long exactly — and someone said we should go out and kill something, which is always a favorite activity of Mr. Cheney’s. So we went to some nearby fields to flush out pheasants or dogs or whatever. Like I said, we were pretty liquored up, so it was kind of a clusterfuck.

“The accident happened really fast. I was next to Dick when a pheasant takes off in front of us. Of course I’m going to defer to the vice president when it comes to who gets to shoot first, so I look over at him and I see he’s aiming at the bird with his shotgun turned completely around. The barrel’s pointing right at his face. Before I could shout out, he pulled the trigger and…well, you know the rest.”

The office of the vice president issued a press release denying that there was any drinking of alcoholic beverages and claimed Mr. Cheney’s face inadvertently got in the way when he tried to shoot a bird.

“This was a tragic accident, but the vice president’s face was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. There are no hard feelings between the vice president and his facial features and there will be no legal action taken.”

Cheney Survives ‘Near-life’ Experience

Washington, D.C. – Doctors at Bethesda Naval Hospital have confirmed that Vice President Dick Cheney was recently admitted for ‘acute signs of life’ associated with the accidental activation of his pacemaker.

According to sources in the Office of the Vice President, the bizarre incident began when an errant radio signal set off Cheney’s pacemaker, which had never been activated. Doctors said that as his heart began to pump blood through his body, the vice president began to experience symptoms of humanness, including grief, remorse, and empathy.

Fortunately, the vice president’s wife, Lynne, was in the room and recognized the symptoms immediately.

“When he began sobbing during a newscast, I knew something was wrong,” recounted Mrs. Cheney, who immediately called for an ambulance. “He said he wanted to give me a big hug and start a list of all his sins and transgressions. I tried not to panic, but I was frightened because I’d never seen Dick like that before. Believe me, it’s a side of him I hope I never see again.”

Although aides have not confirmed the report, Nurses attending Cheney after his surgery said he described himself as floating above his body, and then walking down a long tunnel toward a bright light. As he neared the end of the tunnel, he was greeted by specters that included Franklin D. Roosevelt, Rachel Carson, John Lennon, and Gandhi. He’s reported to have said, “At that point I knew I was being sent to hell, so I did everything in my power to return to my physical body.”

Doctors removed the malfunctioning pacemaker and replaced it with heart-shaped clock.

Cheney gives unprecedented tour of “Veep Cave”

Two weeks ago, Vice President Dick Chaney gave Washington Times reporter Bob Cobb an exclusive, first ever tour of the VP’s secure residence where he stays between speeches and appearances on talk shows. The location is obviously top secret, and Cobb had to endure hours wearing a blindfold and earplugs before reaching his destination.

Once the blindfold was removed, Cobb stood in the main room of what he described as, “Batman’s wet dream.” Cheney began his tour with some background on the cavernous structure.

Cheney – Amazing, isn’t it? This is the main room. There is 200 feet of rock between the ceiling and the planet’s surface. Air purifiers are located in hidden mine shafts guarded 24-hours a day. There’s a massive tunnel system, and I can travel from here to just about anywhere in the U.S. underground.

Cobb – How often has the president been here?

Cheney – He doesn’t know where it is, and I prefer it that way.

Cobb – I imagine you could live through just about anything down here.

Cheney – What do you mean by that? Did someone say something to you about nuclear war? Give me names.

Cobb – Please calm down, sir. No one said anything about nuclear war. Except you.

Cheney – Don’t get cute. Over there is a fully equipped cardiology unit I extracted from an East Coast hospital. The staff can be a bit grumpy about missing family and such, but goddamn it, this is national security. One has to question their priorities. And that hallway there leads to my small game park.

Cobb – Oh. Is that in order to save certain species should a disaster happen?

Cheney – No. It’s to shoot rabbits and squirrels and stray cats. I can’t go 48 hours without killing something. Would you like to stay for dinner?

Cobb – Uh, where do you sleep?

Cheney – Sleep?

Cobb – How about a kitchen? Do you have one of those?

Cheney – Over there is the doorway to a five-star restaurant I named “The Last Supper Club.” Clever. Huh? Jacket and tie required.

Cobb – And what’s through that hallway?

Cheney – My state-of-the-art torture chamber and gym. Kills two birds with one stone, so to speak.

Cobb – Well, Mr. Vice President, this has been fascinating, but I am on deadline. Can we head back to the surface now?

Cheney – I’m sorry, Mr. Cobb, but that won’t be possible. You’ll have to send your story from here.

Cobb – What? When can I leave?

Cheney – Uh, never. You’ve seen what no other man on earth has seen and lived to tell about, so I’m afraid you’ll have to stay here now. Or be shot. Come on, the special tonight is rabbit stew. Killed it myself. Mmmmm.

Cheney reveals post-VP plans: Evil, Inc.

Washington, D.C. – At a news conference today, Vice President Cheney discussed his career plans once he leaves office.

“Many people have been asking me what I plan to do after my tenure as vice president is over. I am once again returning to the private sector where I will run a little start-up venture called Evil, Inc. My carefully picked staff and I will serve as consultants to the world’s dictators, despots, thugs, strong men, and others who rule with an iron fist. In other words, my heroes. We will counsel them on the many ways to keep power through terror and intimidation, and help them build a secret police force, torture facilities, and a highly intrusive surveillance system. It’s a wide open market.”

A reporter asked if this wasn’t at odds with American foreign policy, and Cheney laughed.

“I will be an entrepreneur, not a politician. Morality or even laws of common decency will be a non-issue. Our wonderful capitalist system is values-neutral, which means I can do what I damn well please, along as I make money.”

Another reporter wanted to know if that meant he favored legalizing prostitution, heroin and gladiator fights, to which the VP answered, “No. Although if they were legal, I’d have a big-ass piece of that action.”

Cheney said he had the full backing of the president in this endeavor, particularly if a Democrat wins this November. “George is all lathered up about Armageddon and his daughter’s wedding, so he basically doesn’t give a shit what I do.”

As he ended the press conference, he added this piece of practical advice. “Remember, always go with your strengths.”