Washington, D.C. – In a move many consider an act of desperation, presidential hopeful John McCain and his pick for VP Sarah Palin, used their final campaign stops to accuse Obama of being the Anti-Christ foretold in the bible.
“Why hasn’t anybody taken a look at Obama’s scalp for the little “666” tattooed there? Asked McCain at a Cleveland rally attended by a crowd in the dozens. “Come on, people. Is there a picture of Obama actually in a church? I haven’t seen it. Have you ever seen Obama with his shoes off? Could he be hiding cloven hooves? We cannot take the chance that we will put Beelzebub in the highest office of the most powerful country on earth.”
Palin carried a similar message to a handful of supporters in Atlanta.
“I have personally seen Obama breath fire on a puppy. It’s true. You don’t see him kissing babies because he’ll burn their tiny little faces if he does. Wouldn’t look good on the 10 o’clock news. That Obama guy is here to enslave all of us and kidnap white virgin females for orgies in the Oval Office. How can any red-blooded American person vote for that? Satan or John McCain? The answer is obvious.”
Obama’s campaign has not responded to the charges. “He’s busy taking measurements at the White House,” said an unidentified aide.