Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Trump Says He Would Eat a Live Baby to Keep America Safe

Last night’s Republican debate produced some of the most heated moments of the 2016 Presidential race to date. The debate among the Republican frontrunners had the candidates in a verbal sparing match after a moderator asked the question: “What would you do to keep America safe from terrorism.” Former neurosurgeon Ben Carson answered first.

“At this very moment, I have a team of engineers working on what I call “TerrorScan,” a walk-through scanning device much like the ones used at airports, except this machine will detect terrorists. As President, I will make sure that every Muslim who comes to our shores will have to pass through the “TerrorScan.”

Ted Cruz spoke next.

“That’s a ridiculous idea, Ben. As your next President, l will only allow Muslims into America if they denounce Islam and convert to Christianity. Islam is a religion that breeds violence, totally unlike Christianity, which is a religion of peace. I will create a Christianity test all Muslims will need to take and pass in order to enter this country.”

Carly Fiorina responded.

“I will deny entry to any Muslim. If you haven’t seen the video of terrorists beheading nuns and wiping their rear ends with pages from the Bible, I urge you to watch it. It is horrifying and I don’t want those things to go on in my America. No more Muslims.”

But the loudest roar of approval from the audience came after Donald Trump’s unusually brief statement.

“How would I keep America safe from terrorists? I tell you, I would do anything to keep this country safe. This is serious business. If you came up to me and said, “Donald, the only thing that will keep America safe is if you eat a baby alive, then I would do it. I make that promise to you here and now. I would do it.”

After the debate, some pundits worried that Trump might lose the “mother vote,” but Trump’s campaign clarified his comment, saying that Donald would only eat an orphan baby.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Looney Tunes Tuesday: Your Daily News (with a cat thrown in)

The news on most days is generally a soul-numbing compendium of human violence, ignorance and hubris, but today’s stories seem particularly otherworldly. Here are snapshots of a few of this morning’s most entertaining stories.

The Woodland, NC Planning Commission banned a solar farm for fear it would suck up the sun’s energy and harm nearby vegetation.

Responding to a vague 911 call about a suspicious person in an Atlanta, Georgia neighborhood, cops broke into the wrong home, shot the homeowner’s dog, the homeowner and a fellow cop.

Donald Trump says EPA water regulations prevent him from washing his hair properly.

A Grand Rapids man took his rifle to a convenience store to kill a Muslim. He forced the dark-skinned cashier to the back room and put the rifle barrel in the man’s mouth, saying “I shot people like you overseas in the Middle East.” Problem was, the convenience store clerk was Indian and not a Muslim. He fought off the rifleman, but sustained a gunshot to his cheek.

The hottest product in China right now is bottled fresh air from Canada. In a related story, a Japanese company is selling a fabric spray that contains the scent of a cat’s forehead.

Speaking of Japan, in recent days 14 mysterious boats have washed up on Japanese shores containing two dozen headless and badly decomposed bodies. Many think the dead are from North Korea.

And in the “to nobody’s surprise” section, recently revealed documents show that the United States has been turning a blind eye to Shi’ite militias in Iraq who have been torturing and murdering Sunni jihadists for over 10 years, adding greatly to the instability of the region.

Saturday, December 12, 2015

The Corporate Media And Their Biased Coverage of Bernie Sanders

Fingers can point in many directions to explain the relatively rapid descent of America into a political morass where an egomaniacal fascist like Donald Trump can be considered a serious candidate for the Presidency — income inequality, the death of the Middle Class, Wall Street greed, the rise of the surveillance state, constant war — but at the top of my list is the corporate media.

President Eisenhower’s warning about the rise of the “military/industrial complex” is heavily cited as a forecast that unfortunately came true, but there arose a third force that Ike did not see at the time that now forms a triumvirate of nightmarish influence over this country, the corporate media.

Owned by a handful of extremely wealthy elitists, the corporate media is the one percent’s propaganda tool used to keep Americans distracted, uninformed and good little consumers. A most recent example of this is the skewed coverage of the candidates running for President by the major news outlets.

According to the Tyndall Report, which tracks stories on the network news programs, between January 1, 2015 and the end of November, ABC “World News Tonight” devoted 81 minutes of coverage to Donald Trump and less than one minute to Bernie Sanders. The report found that all of the major news programs were guilty of Trump overkill with a total of 234 total network minutes for the Donald compared to just 10 minutes of reporting on Sanders. That’s over almost a year period.

There are two reasons for this obvious bias on the part of the mainstream corporate media. First there’s entertainment value. Trump is outrageous, monstrous and a born entertainer. He shocks every time he opens his mouth and that makes for great entertainment (under the guise of news) that viewers eat up, whether their Republicans or Democrats. Sanders, on the other hand, is seen as a crotchety old man and too much of a scold. Boooring.

But there’s a stealthier effort going on here as well. Of all the candidates running for President, none of them represent as big a threat to the elites as Sanders. For all of his insane statements, Trump is one of them, and Sanders is definitely not. Sanders and his Democratic Socialist agenda represent a threat to the status quo, the deep state the ruling elite, and because of this, they want him on television, and exposed to the public, as little as possible.

Just like Time magazine’s failure to make Sanders “Person of the Year” despite his win in the popularity poll, the corporate press will do everything in its power to keep the progressive Democrat in the wings, while giving the howling fascist demagogue Trump center stage.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Short Scary Story - The Boy in the Mirror

You're son is a budding psychopath who claims he's being controlled by a boy in his bedroom mirror. Is it just his twisted imagination or something more? Find out at That's Going Too Far!

Monday, December 07, 2015

Should We Allow America To Destroy Itself in Order To Save It?

Ralph Nader has been saying it for decades: The two-party system in America is a lose/lose game, with both parties prostrating themselves to the moneyed gods of Wall Street and K Street while the American people sink deeper into a listless sleep to avoid dealing with the ugly reality of a dying democracy.

A recent article in Salon grapples with the issue that Nader and others have raised, which is, at its core, that we may need to let America hit rock bottom before a large swath of citizens will wake up to the reality that conservative ideology in general, and the Republican Party in particular, offer nothing that will help this country become a healthy democracy again.

The title of the Salon article is, “Just Let the Republicans Win: Maybe Things Have to Get Really Bad for America to Wake Up.” The author discusses the pros and cons of not voting for Hillary if she receives the nomination from the Democrats, and I think many of the arguments are on the money. If we progressives keep acquiescing to the establishment Democrats, we will keep getting candidates like Bill Clinton, Kerry, Obama and now Hillary, luke warm liberals who, once they’re in office, rush to the ideological center to keep the one percent happy.

Roosevelt’s New Deal may not have seen the light of day if not for the Great Depression. We as a country might need to fall hard again to remind ourselves that America is supposed to have a government of, for and by the people, not the billionaires or corporations or the military/industrial/media complex.

Like the Salon article’s author, I have yet to decide what I’ll do if Hillary wins the Democratic nomination. The one option not discussed in the essay is a massive write in campaign for Sanders. Either way, 2016 could be the election when progressives say enough is enough, and let this country have the President it deserves.

Saturday, December 05, 2015

Unveiling the Cheney Bust: U.S. Honors an International Criminal

On Friday, the House of Representatives unveiled a marble bust of Dick Cheney in the Emancipation Hall of the U.S. Capital. Instead of putting Cheney and the rest of the Bush administration in jail for crimes against humanity, he is honored with a statue and lauded by those attending the ceremony (including Vice President Joe Biden) for his illusionary service to his country.

To mark this display of unbelievable hubris, I offer this new definition of American Exceptionalism: If you are exceptionally rich and powerful, you can get away with anything.

Thursday, December 03, 2015

More Facts to Shut Up Your Ignorant Uncle Al This Holiday Season

In a recent poll of historians, 61% agreed that George W. Bush was the worst President the United States has ever had. So as you try to enjoy your eggnog at the Christmas family gathering, but a drunk Uncle Al starts yapping about how bad a President Obama is, use your phone to pull up this handy chart, and tell Uncle Al to shut his pie hole. You're welcome.

Tuesday, December 01, 2015

Hate America? Vote Republican.

Where do we as a society draw the line between far right wing ideology and mental illness? How have we gotten to the point in the United States where we will have a presidential election featuring one candidate who straddles that grey line, who makes Elmer Fudd look like a Mensa member, and who, if elected President, will almost certainly drag our country into the depths of despair?

Think about a President who would condone the actions of the American terrorist who killed three people at a Planned Parenthood clinic in Colorado. Think about a President who doesn’t believe in man-made global warning and who’ll do nothing to reduce our toxic emissions, and may even push to increase them. Think about a President who doesn’t accept the separation of church and state, and actively pushes an agenda to make America a Christian theocracy. Think about a President who prefers war to diplomacy and sees violent intervention as a strategy of first choice. And finally, think about a President who does not understand or care about our Constitution, and who will think nothing of violating it in the pursuit of creating an ultra-conservative/fascist government.

Our system of governance in America is broken. Next November, we will likely have a choice between a Wall Street-endorsed establishment Democrat and a borderline mental case. This is what we’ve come to, and to all of the liberals and progressives who are in denial, who are certain Cruz or Carson or Trump could never win the White House, all I can say is wake the fuck up. Our elections are rigged and have nothing to do with the will of the people. If the one percent and the Deep State want a Republican to win, a Republican will win.

Although I’m not Harold Camping predicting the end of the world, I think America is at a crossroads. Should any one of the Republican candidates prove victorious next November, it will herald the end of the United States as most of us know it. Our country already has serious problems that need to be addressed, from income inequality to campaign finance reform to a crumbling infrastructure, and the only thing I can say for certain is that if a Republican is elected President, all of those issues and more will only get worse.