A son only a father could love

That’s Going Too Far! obtained this transcript of a phone conversation recorded from an unsecured line between George Bush junior and his father on Wednesday, November 8.

Georgie? You There?

Dad. Uh, Dad?

Yeah?

I…I screwed up the country. Bad. Could use a little help here.

This isn’t the best time, Georgie. Your mother and I are in Palm Springs golfing. Isn’t Uncle Jim there yet?

Yeah, he’s here, but he’s always in meetings. I can’t get him to stop and talk to me.

George, that’s very reassuring.

Huh?

He’s there to help you. We’ll get this Iraq thing figured out—

Dad, there’s nothing to figure out about Iraq. I’ve told the American people we will stay until we achieve victory.

Right. Hold on… (in the background) Babs, you don’t want to use a four iron here. Jesus, somebody get her the right club. Okay? (back on the phone) Son, you’ve got to let go. Iraq’s going down the shitter faster than grease through a goose. You’re going to have to make some compromises.

(loudly) Compromises? You want me to compromise with the terrorists?

Don’t you raise your voice to me, young man. This is your dad, not some fawning blowhard from FOX.

But the terrorists are out there. Waiting for me.

Waiting for you to what?

Just waiting for me.

Son. Are you drinking?

Well….

Listen. I have to tee off now. You just do whatever Jimmy tells you to do. Okay?

But Dad, I’m the President.

Listen to your Daddy. (talking to someone nearby) Yeah, It’s Georgie. No. He’s fine. Everything’s fine. He’ll call you later. (back on the phone) Call your mother tonight. You hear?

Yes, Daddy.

How’s Laura?

Who?

Your wife.

She’s okay, I guess.

I have to go now. Just don’t get into Uncle Jim’s way. He’s got a lot to do.

Okay, Daddy. Bye.

Goodbye, Mr. President.