Washington, D.C. - Novelist Michael Crichton has been chosen to write the official biography of George Bush after the president steps down from office in January 2009. The author of the extremely popular Jurassic Park and co-creator of the long-running television show ER, Crichton was asked at the announcement ceremony why Bush chose a fiction writer over a well-known biographer.
“I’ve discussed this with the president, and he would like to take a slightly different approach to his biography. It’s going to be set on a mythical planet in the future.”
A reporter asked how the book could be called a biography if it is set in a fictional time and place.
“The essence of George Bush’s life and presidency will be retained, I assure you. It is simply a creative setting in which the story will unfold.”
“So he’ll be president on another planet?” a reporter asked.
“No. At his request, his title will be Supreme Eternal Overlord, and he will have mystical powers to see into peoples’ minds and never suffer from hangovers.”
Crichton also revealed that First Lady Laura Bush will be portrayed as a voluptuous green mute from the planet Sexomite and Vice President Dick Chaney will be represented as an evil black hole which consumes everything in its path.
“This is the creative challenge of a lifetime,” noted Crichton. “Portraying the president as an intergalactic superhero with god-like powers and still staying true to his life story won’t be a walk in the park, but I’ve had tougher assignments, like trying to disprove global warming.”