Michelle Bachmann: Call of the Loon

The loon is our state bird. Don’t laugh. Nothing can moisten the eye of a Minnesotan quicker than hearing the eerie, tremulous call of a loon from the middle of a mist-covered lake.

We love loons so much we sent one to Congress. Yep. One of the bluer states in America elected a notorious right-wing evangelical ideologue to represent it in Washington D.C. Twice. Actually, calling sixth district Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann “right-wing” is kind of like calling Minnesota winters “brisk.” Bachmann is truly in a category all by herself.

During her tenure representing ‘the fighting sixth,” Bachmann has eagerly shared her bizarre spin on the issues during numerous television and radio appearances and with her colleagues in Congress. This woman is not afraid to speak her mind, and for that reason, Bachmann has carved out a noteworthy niche among her fellow representatives: Looniest gal in the room.

You may remember Bachmann’s YouTube splash after Bush’s 2007 State of the Union address when she put a death grip on the president’s shoulder and wouldn’t let go. The over-heated Bachmann was a millisecond away from being escorted out of the event by men who talk into the sleeves of their trenchcoats. Then, when Bush came to Minneapolis after a major bridge collapse, Bachmann claimed the president attempted to assuage her distress by examining her tonsils with his tongue (she euphemistically said “kiss”) during an inspection of the wreckage.

“Oh, John,” you non-Minnesotans argue, “Bachmann can’t be any worse than (fill in your congressperson).” Well, yes she can. But please don’t let me prattle on. Bachmann has no qualms about speaking for herself.

“I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under Democrat President Jimmy Carter. And I'm not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it is an interesting coincidence.”

“I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out if they are pro-America or anti-America."

“I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back.”

"The big thing we are working on now is the global warming hoax. It’s all voodoo, nonsense, hokum, a hoax."

“We’re running out of rich people in this country."

We do love loons in Minnesota. Wait, I hear one calling now. Or is that another Bachmann press conference?