Friday, June 22, 2012

Fishing With Cats

Here’s a quick tip for any single man out there who still clings to the romantic notion that you’ll bump into your life’s love while squeezing cantaloupes at the supermarket or riding the express bus to work in the morning. Consider this advice supplemental to your online dating service and hanging out in front of Victoria’s Secret at the mall on weekends.

Every guy has tried or thought about trying “Puppy Fishing.” You acquire (buy, borrow or pick up one loitering around a local trash bin) a puppy, leash it, and troll (not “lurk,” but troll) nearby parks or jogging trails. This technique has merit and has proven successful for some, but I propose a slight variation. Cats.

After visiting a state park recently on vacation, I came across a guy with a large grey and white cat on a leash. He had drawn a significant crowd. This was a place where dogs were allowed and there were plenty of people parading around their labs and collies, but the cat guy was clearly the center of attention.

Start by being honest with yourself. Are you a cat or dog person? If you’re a dog person, that’s one thing. But if you’re a cat person and you troll with a dog, you are going to attract the wrong species — a dog lover. So don’t be shy about exploiting your cat. It lies around all day sleeping and licking its ass, so why not put the little ingrate to good use? It could probably use the exercise.

Some might be nervous about the “manliness” factor involved in strolling around public places with a cat in tow, but I think it is negated by the uniqueness of the event. It demonstrates that you’re not afraid to show your feline side, and that can be an attractive thing to some women.

Be warned however, that this approach does not translate to other pets. Walking your weasel, ferret, tarantula or rat for the purpose of attracting the opposite sex is not recommended. The danger is that you might actually catch something. If this should happen, throw it back immediately. 

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