Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Killer Toys for 2013

The United States Department of Defense, in conjunction with the CIA, unveiled the first die-cast metal toy in a new line of products being sold on Amazon under the name, “America Owns the World.” The initial offering is the Unmanned Aerial Vehicle (UAV) RQ-1 Predator shown here. This indiscriminate killing machine has seen combat over Afghanistan, Pakistan, Bosnia, Serbia, Iraq, and Yemen, killing and disfiguring women, children, and the occasional terrorist, since 1995.

On the schedule for release this spring is 1/12 scale replica of a CIA waterboarding operation, complete with paid mercenaries, buckets and leaders of the international community standing outside the facility covering their eyes and ears.

Future releases include a model black site prison in Bosnia (includes pliers and death metal CD), the Abu Ghraib hooded prisoner doll, and “My First Shredding Machine” with copies of the Constitution, Bill of Rights and other useless documents for your child’s shredding fun.

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