Monday, October 24, 2005

Krazy Karl

Washington, DC - In an eleventh hour attempt to avoid prosecution on conspiracy and obstruction of justice charges, attorneys for Karl Rove have entered an insanity defense.

At a news conference, Rove’s lead attorney Robert Luskin said, “We believe that Karl Rove is incapable of distinguishing between right and wrong, nor is he able to understand the consequences of his actions. We have had several prominent psychologists interview Mr. Rove, and their general consensus is that he is a sociopath, marked by pathological lying, lack of empathy and an utter failure to take responsibility for his own actions. Mr. Rove is unable to participate in his own defense.”

Reporters asked how someone so utterly divorced from reality could reach such a high level of political power. “For years, Mr. Rove has found himself working exclusively within a small cadre of other sociopaths, which only served to reinforce his deviant behavior. There were no reality checks up to this point.”

Asked whether that included the President of the United States, Luskin refused to comment. He added, “Anyone who is familiar with Mr. Rove’s past cannot help but see a pattern of dishonesty, prevarication and criminal behavior, symptoms of a serious mental disorder.”

When a reporter noted that the insanity defense is rarely successful, Mr. Luskin stated, “In Mr. Rove’s case, we believe that the condition is severe enough that the judge will have no alternative but to rule in our favor. There is no question Mr. Rove suffers from an antisocial mental disorder.”

Asked to comment on this latest tactic from the Rove defense team, the White House responded, “The President continues to maintain complete confidence in Karl Rove and cannot discuss details of an ongoing investigation.”

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