Monday, October 17, 2005

Next time, it's a dead fish wrapped in newspaper

The following letter from Vice President Cheney to his chief of staff Lewis "Scooter" Libbey was intercepted this weekend by That's Going Too Far! Administration officials deny that this, or Libbey's previous letter to New York Times editor Judith Miller, contains any "code words" or secret messages. However, the experts who have analyzed the letter believe there may in fact be embedded code words intended for Libbey, noting specifically the words in bold face.

Dear Scooter,

As you know, Old Friend, the weather is changing in D.C., and fall approaches. Although the leaves may fall, the trees continue to stand strong, able to weather the trials and tribulations of winter and bloom anew in the spring. That is, if there are no unhappy surprises, such as an infection or blight that might cause harm to root or branch.

We have been associates for many years, Scooter, and I trust this relationship has been as enjoyable for you as it has been for me. I foresee many more abundant autumns working together in the cause of freedom and democracy.

So I recommend you take some time to contemplate the beautiful silence found in a grove of red maples, where you can experience solace and safety in knowing that you served your country and its leaders steadfastly through your loyalty. Embrace the silence, Scooter, or the winter will find us confined to the lonely cell of our hearts.

Yours truly,

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