Thursday, February 21, 2008

McCain Makes VP Pick: Jessica Simpson

In a bold and surprising move, presidential candidate John McCain announced today that actress Jessica Simpson has agreed to be his running mate on the Republican presidential ticket. McCain was unusually candid with reporters about his stunning decision.

“Look, Jessica is far smarter than her celebrity persona would lead you to believe. I’ve spent many evenings with her recently discussing foreign policy and economics. She’s a huge fan of Friedman’s work. She also has a very strong grasp of my policy positions. And let’s face it, she’s hot. Hot, hot, hot. Very…hot. Steamin’.”

McCain was asked about the tactical implications of choosing Simpson as his running mate.

“Jessica is my very own ‘Southern Strategy.’ We’ve got the good-old-boy, trailer trash vote sewn up with her on the ticket. Younger males and men in the military will vote for us in droves. See, it will be a two-pronged attack, and you know what two prongs I’m talking about. Right?”

Will he have Simpson tone down her sexy image for the campaign?

“Not on your life. We’re going to play up her….assets as much as humanly possible. We’re working on a couple of television spots right now that are going to peel the paint off your walls.”

Reporters wanted to know what his wife Cindy thought about Simpson joining the campaign.

“I haven’t mentioned it to her yet, but she’ll be fine. She’ll always be my First Lady.”

McCain announced that he and Simpson would immediately take off for a week of intensive campaign preparation in the South of France.


Anonymous said...

I really enjoy reading your blog, it always has great insight. But I am very frustrated with the media’s lack of questions to the presidential candidates about global warming. Now that it is down to just a few candidates I would think that this would be a bigger issue.

Live Earth just picked up this topic and put out an article ( ) asking why the presidential candidates are not being solicited for their stance on the issue of the climate change. I just saw an article describing each candidate’s stance on global warming and climate change on . So obviously they care about it. Is it the Medias fault for not asking the right questions or is it the candidates’ fault for not highlighting the right platforms? Does anyone know of other websites or articles that touch on this subject and candidates’ views? This is the biggest problem of the century and for generations to come…you would think the next president of the United States would be more vocal about it.

Tacy said...

Good post.