McCain Team Demands Eleventh-hour Concessions in VP Debate

Representatives from John McCain’s campaign have given the Commission on Presidential Debates (CPD) a list of demands related to the debate scheduled for this Thursday evening. Democrats angrily responded by claiming the maneuver was a blatant attempt to rig the debate in Sarah Palin’s favor.

“Nothing could be further from the truth,” said a McCain representative, who asked to remain anonymous. “These are really quite minor adjustments that should not have any impact on the debate itself.”

A copy of the demands was leaked to the press and highlights are reprinted here.

Questions addressed to Mrs. Palin may only include the following topics: Clothes, moose hunting, snowmobiling, make-up, Jesus.

Mr. Biden may not look at Mrs. Palin during the debate.

Mr. Biden may only answer questions in Mycenaean Greek

Mrs. Palin will be allowed to wear electronic devices that may or may not involve a helmet.

Following every response by Mr. Biden, the moderator will say, “That is the most ridiculous answer I’ve ever heard, even from a Satan-loving liberal. Don’t you agree, Governor Palin?”

Following each question for Mrs. Palin, she will be allowed five minutes to confer with advisors before answering.

Mrs. Palin will be declared the winner. Period.