Friday, April 20, 2012

Some VP advice for Romney

Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney is now in the process of selecting his VP running mate. Surprisingly, I haven’t yet gotten the call from his campaign team regarding my recommendations, but I am expecting it very soon. In the meantime, here are my leading candidates for the Mittster’s second-in-command with the pros and cons of each one. You’re welcome, Romney camp.

Homer Simpson
Pros: Will make Romney look smart. Solid family man. Supporter of nuclear energy. High name recognition.
Cons: Cartoon character.

Ted Nugent
 Pros: Solid conservative credentials. Counterbalance Romney’s “elitist” image. High name recognition.
 Cons: He’s crazy.

 Pippa Middleton
 Pros: She’s hot.
 Cons: She’s British

Stephan Colbert
Pros: Articulate. Speaks our language. Good sense of humor. Smart (people think he’s a liberal playing the part of a conservative, that’s how good he is). Clean.
Cons: Might actually say “yes.”

Zeddie “Watkins” Little
Pros: He’s ridiculously photogenic.
Cons: None.

Ann Coulter
 Pros: High-profile conservative. Articulate. Photogenic. Good name recognition.
Cons: She could be a man.

Snoop Dogg
Pros: African American. Well-known rapper and actor. Will keep staff supplied with blunts.
Cons: All of the above.

Steve Jobs
Pros: Brilliant mind. Successful industry leader. Visionary.
Cons: He’s dead.

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