At an Indianapolis restaurant

This sign was recently posted in the window of an all-you-can-eat restaurant in Indianapolis.

Dear Patrons,

Our deeply held Christian beliefs prohibit us from serving the following people:

Homosexuals

African Americans

Asians

Atheists

Catholics

Jews

Muslims (especially you)

Hippies

Hipsters

Democrats

Wiccans

Satanists

Unitarians

Midgets, Dwarves or Gnomes

Anyone who has ever voted for a Clinton

Anyone with the last name Obama

Anyone with an IQ over 100

Welfare recipients

The homeless

Liberals

Socialists

Communists

Feminists

Transvestites

Sodomites

Prostitutes

Vegetarians

Vegans

Californians

Canadians

Scandinavians

Latin Americans

Indians (both kinds)

Anyone working in the liberal media (you know who you are)

The physically deformed

Anyone who regularly watches PBS

Anyone who is friends with my alcoholic Uncle Chester

Tom Hunter, who beat me up in fourth grade

Janice Paulson, who dumped me for Calvin Weathers in ninth grade

Zombies

Llamas

Anyone whose last name ends with an “I”

Pedophiles

Psychopaths

Anyone wearing saggy pants

Scientologists

Circus workers

Clowns

Anyone with a 666 license plate

Anyone with tattoos (Christian related tattoos exempt)