Monday, October 03, 2016

Ever Feel Like You’ve Known Donald Trump All Your Life? You Have.

Since Trump became the Republican nominee for President, there has been a spate of articles psychoanalyzing The Donald, with many professionals agreeing he is clearly a narcissist and possibly a sociopath. I do have respect for the psychologists who have brought to bear their many years of experience to categorize the man, but you and I already know him by a much more common moniker: “The Asshole.”

John, come on, are you just being rude? No, well yes, but no. We all know or have known Donald Trumps throughout our lives. He is representative of the assholes we come into contact with at work, on the roads and at large family gatherings. Think about the time you were having dinner with your wife and a coworker’s name came up in the conversation, and she said, “That asshole?” You’re talking to a neighbor in the apartment complex and you complain about the constant noise, and he says, “Must be the asshole in 4B.” You’re attending the big game at your hometown stadium, but the guy in front of you keeps standing up and yelling at the top of his lungs, and you’re thinking, “What an….” That annoying human being, in every case, is Sir Trump.

Donald Trump is the person who…

You never want for a group project.

Cuts you off in traffic, and then gives you the finger.

Takes more credit than he deserves for a successful project.

Looks for a reason not to leave the waitress a tip.

Laughs when someone trips.

Pulls into the parking spot you’ve been waiting for at Costco.

Takes the last cup of coffee and doesn’t make a new pot.

You will surely have your own additions to the listing of habits of your typical asshole. And I’m not even going to the misogynistic, racist tendencies of the man, although there are certainly correlations here, too. What I’m saying is that in some ways, Donald Trump really does represent the common man, but that thin slice of humanity known familiarly as the “common asshole.”

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