Monday, November 28, 2005

Cheney Sneers Hecklers to Death

Tulsa, Oklahoma – Peace activists who snuck into a Republican fundraising event featuring Vice President Dick Cheney were permanently silenced by what some onlookers said was, “The Grin Reaper.”

Cheney had just started to speak when two audience members stood and began chanting anti-war slogans in an attempt to drown out the vice president. After several faltering attempts to continue, Cheney then put his hands on either side of the podium and stared silently at the protesters.

One of the instigators immediately fell silent and gripped her throat as if being strangled. The shouts of the second demonstrator came to an abrupt end, as he too appeared to be suffocating.

The crowd watched in stunned silence as the two interlopers writhed and squirmed in terror, only to succumb to the invisible assailant and fall limp to the floor. Paramedics tried to revive the pair, and they were taken to a nearby hospital where they were pronounced dead on arrival.

After completing his speech, Cheney was asked about the event and his part in it. “I hesitate to use my evil powers except in the most dire circumstances, but I have to say, that felt good.” The VP sneered gleefully upon hearing he had been named “The Grin Reaper,” saying he didn’t deserve such accolades and was just doing his job.

1 comment:

paulsen said...

Aer you for real? And what was it that killed them.