White House Denies Significance of New Locks

Washington, D.C. – There was frenzied speculation inside the Beltway yesterday after it was revealed that President Bush had ordered all of the White House locks changed. A spokesperson for the White House said that this was nothing more than a regular security measure, but members of Barack Obama’s campaign team were suspicious.

“Why is he changing the locks now?” wondered one Obama supporter. “And what about the new machine gun installations and the bars? What kind of message is Bush sending?”

The spokesman was referring to the recently installed machine gun/missile launching structures on the White House roof and the iron bars placed over all first floor windows. In her daily press conference, White House Press Secretary Dana Parino dismissed the concerns of the Obama camp.

“This is typical election year posturing on their part. These security measures have been in the works for several years and just now got the go ahead from congress. There is nothing more to it than that.”

When questioned about the funding for the so-called security measures at the White House, senate majority leader Harry Reid said Democrats in congress were told the money was for grounds maintenance and a new coat of paint.

“They lied to us,” said an incredulous Reid. “As hard as it is for me and other congressional Democrats to believe, this administration out-and-out lied to us. What did they think? That we wouldn’t approve the money if they told us the truth? It’s never been an issue before this. To me, it just shows a lack of trust and good will on the part of this administration.”