Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Romney Issues Treats Only For Those Who Sign Pledge

CLEVELAND, OHIO – The Romney’s are preparing for Halloween with candy and a document they call The Parent’s Pledge. According to an anonymous campaign spokesperson, the Romney’s will pass out candy only to Trick or Treaters who sign the pledge promising that their parent’s will vote for the Republican presidential candidate.

“Children have to learn early that there are certain responsibilities related to receiving treats,” said the spokesperson. “Mr. Romney does not believe that children should expect a handout simply because it’s Halloween. Signing the pledge is an incentive, the kids earn their reward, and we believe that this approach results in more responsible Trick or Treaters.”

A new ad scheduled to appear in swing states today is already being assailed by Democrats as false and misleading. The ad shows Trick or Treaters ringing the doorbell of the White House. A man resembling President Obama answers the door and hands out candy bars that are clearly embedded with nails, razors and glass shards. As the children leave, the Obama stand in is seen laughing maniacally in the doorway.

In response to the Democrat’s complaint, the Romney campaign insisted this was based on eyewitness accounts of Halloween’s from the previous three years, although they would not provide any affidavits or documentation related to this charge. “It’s common knowledge in DC,” said the Romney spokesperson, referring reporters to a recent Rush Limbaugh radio show segment for further details.

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