A BUNKER IN THE HAMPTONS - At a news conference held this
morning, Donald Trump claimed to have incontrovertible proof that the Obama
administration was responsible for the mega-storm now pummeling the East Coast
of the United States.
“This is a calculated dirty trick by the President’s
campaign to try and make Obama look “presidential” during a crisis,” said
Trump. “Tomorrow at 1:00 p.m. I will produce hard evidence that members of the
Obama team seeded a relatively mild Atlantic hurricane with scientifically
altered pellets to intensify the magnitude of the storm.”
Asked why he could not produce the evidence now, Trump
responded with a sneer. “I’m not playing the “gotcha” game, okay? Right now,
I’m having the best scientists in the world analyze the seeds. Tomorrow I’ll
have their report. Oh yeah. Weren’t ready for that one, were you?”
Trump became visibly agitated when two of the three
reporters covering the news conference left the event early. “Get back here,”
he shouted. “I paid you to sit and listen, Goddamn it.”
Following the news conference, Trump’s claims were discussed
on several FOX News programs, with Bill O’Reilly claiming that Trump’s
credibility alone should be enough to lead to a Congressional investigation. “No
one can dispute’s Donald’s veracity and dedication to the truth. If he says he
has proof of a conspiracy, that’s good enough for me.”
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