Republicans really, really want to impeach Obama. The problem is, they can’t decide on what to impeach him for. Being black isn’t going to get out of the starting gate. Being born in Hawaii seems un-American, but apparently, it’s not. He’s hiding something. Everyone knows it, but what? We need an Edward Snowden in the White House, a patriotic American who will finally pull back the curtain and expose the President for what he is, whatever that might be.
Meanwhile, we have the rumor mill. This is the conservative fantasy land where fevered dreams about Obama can be let loose to be repeated on FOX as fact. Here are a few of the latest that I give as a gift to frustrated Republicans:
North Korean leader Kim Jong-un is Obama’s half-brother.
Obama routinely flies Kenyan relatives to Washington D.C. to attend raves in the White House basement.
Obama gives copies of Mein Kampf as Christmas gifts.
Obama has a live video feed to a secret room in the White House where kittens are tortured.
Obama is about to issue an executive order making it legal to hunt white Christians.
An anonymous whistleblower claims to have been in a meeting with Obama where he shape-shifted into a reptile, Karl Marx and Elizabeth Taylor.
Obama will occasionally slip out of the White House at night and perform at local clubs as his alter ego, rapper Commander Bro.
Obama is about to suspend the Constitution, declare martial law and make narwhal tattoos mandatory.