Speculations on the bump under George Bush’s jacket during the debates

• The anxiety of constantly lying is beginning to manifest itself in physical deformities

• A continuous 24-hour deodorant pump

• Electroshock device Rove uses to produce the desired response

• A candy bar

• An artificial heart

• A really ugly mole

• A receiver implanted by aliens

• A tracking device

• The missing National Guard records

• A retractable leash

• A large bandage covering a tattoo of Tony Blair in a Speedo

• Bush isn’t sure either