As the author of a blog that reaches millions* on a daily basis, I understand that I have a responsibility to uphold the highest standards of journalistic ethics and integrity.** My views may not be shared by every reader,*** but I truly appreciate the powerful impact my work has on many people.****
Therefore, it is with great humility***** that I endorse Mike Hatch for Governor of Minnesota. I realize that stating my preference may, and probably will, single-handedly swing the election in Mike’s favor, but I must accept my station in life as a mighty political force****** in Minnesota and let the results fall where they may. I will no longer apologize to anyone for being a kingmaker. *******
* of microbes
** which at this point in history are very low
*** or any reader for that matter
**** and I apologize to anyone I have made physically ill
***** it is all about me
****** that should read “farce”
******* when I’m playing chess
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