Post-administration Traumatic Shock Syndrome

Dr. Melvin,

Here is the list you asked me to make. Some of my goals fall into the “aspirational” category, but others are very practical in nature. And you were right. I do feel more confident about my future having done this exercise, but I also feel slightly aroused. Is that bad?

Things I want to accomplish in the coming year:

• Start my intimate shaving business
• Choose a new personal catch phrase to replace “Remember 9/11.”
• Stop wasting time trying to get the Olsen twins’ address and phone number
• Sharpen 335 pencils in one hour
• Cancel my subscription to “Babes ‘n Bikes.”
• Have my condo fumigated
• Make eye contact and speak to my neighbors
• Discover and punish my feminine side
• Turn OFF the Cartoon Channel
• Find my brand

Thank you again, Dr. Melvin. I really feel that my life is moving in a new direction as a result of your work. Wish me luck.

Don