A lot of conservatives are really, really upset that Obama
won reelection, and there have been more than a few overwrought conservative
bloggers and pundits threatening to leave the United States. My first reaction
is, “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out,” but then I wondered where on
this planet would they go? Who would welcome our Calvinist Wingnuts into their
communities?
Canada? Although our giant neighbor to the north has listed
to the political right in recent years, it still has a long history of experimenting
with socialism and openness that I think would make many of our gun-toting
evangelical Tea Baggers uncomfortable. Latin or South America? Lazy brown
people with tainted drinking water. Africa? Hahahahahahah. Australia? There’s a
possibility. Oh wait. They have compulsory voting, universal healthcare, no
death penalty, evolution is taught in schools and the PM is a female, unmarried
atheist. Not working for us. Europe? Ground zero of the secular, socialist, one
world government experiment? Don’t think so. Russia? Nyet. Let’s just check
Asia off of our list right now.
Okay, what does that leave? Ah, right. There is one part of
the world that might work. Women are second-class citizens. Check. Religion
dominates all aspects of society. Check. Guns and other weapons are prevalent
and easy to obtain. Check. Men dominate government and dictate laws. Check.
Welcome, evangelical Americans. Welcome to the one part of
the world where you will feel completely comfortable and at home: The Middle
East.
No comments:
Post a Comment