Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Please welcome the newest third-world country: Texas

Secession is today’s word. Since Obama’s victory last week, some 30 states have petitions out to secede from the United States. Although I don’t really understand this, apparently Texas has enough signatures on its petition that it now requires some kind of official response from the White House. Here is the response I wish President Obama would give:

Dear citizens of the great state of Texas,

Your petition to secede from the United States of America is granted. Please turn off all the lights before you leave, and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Barack Obama
President of the United States

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