The Obama Conspiracy Game

Tired of trying to look busy at work? Need a break from online shopping? Bored with eavesdropping on your cubemate’s personal phone calls?

It’s time to play the Obama Conspiracy game.

It’s easy. Just pick the one answer in each category that is NOT a genuine conspiracy being promoted by the delusional, fear-fueled conservative noise machine. Yay. And as a bonus, feel free to claim the as yet virgin conspiracy theory as your own and spread it far and wide on the Internet. You might just get interviewed by Glenn Beck!

Good luck!

1.

Obama’s shady background:

a.      Was a Black Panther

b.     Is the son of Malcolm X

c.      Was secretly married to a Pakistani man

d.     Learned Klingon before English

e.      Was born in Kenya

f.       His mother and father were communists

2.

Obama’s real politics:

a.      He’s a socialist and/or a Marxist

b.     Is owned by the Muslim Brotherhood

c.      Placed his hand on a copy of Mein Kampf instead of the bible during swearing in ceremony

d.     Once aided the mujahideen

e.      Refused to say the Pledge of Allegiance

3.

Obama the person:

a.      Is gay

b.     Can’t speak in public without a teleprompter

c.      Used hypnosis and subliminal messages to win votes

d.     Lost his U.S. citizenship

e.      Wears a ring with a Koranic verse on it

f.       Is Muslim

g.      Has a tattoo of Stalin’s face on his right buttock

4.

Obama’s long reach:

a.      Caused the BP oil spill

b.     Personally caused Hurricane Sandy

c.      Faked Bin Laden’s death

d.     Secretly trained to overthrow the U.S. government

e.      Is going to bring 100 million Muslim’s to the U.S.

f.       Responsible for the 2011 Japanese tsunami

5.

Obama the criminal:

a.      Had Andrew Breitbart killed

b.     Served time in a Russian prison for child trafficking

c.      Was behind the Aurora, Colorado massacre

d.     Was part of a cocaine/gay sex/murder/orgy cover up

e.      Ran campaigns that were funded by drug money

6.

Obama’s plans for the future:

a.      He will fake an assassination attempt to institute martial law

b.     Has plans for a third term in office

c.      Wants to outlaw Christmas and Easter

d.     Is coming to take your gold

e.      Will put your children in youth reeducation camps

1 d, 2 c, 3 g, 4 f, 5 b, 6 c