Tuesday, September 09, 2014

Things on my mind today

How do you know you haven’t been hypnotized and you’re actually a member of an ISIS sleeper cell?

Donald Trump says he’s a human being, but isn’t that exactly what a shape-shifting alien would say?

Who actually has the key to the highway?

What did the first human to ever laugh find funny?

They say there are no atheists in foxholes, but there aren’t any foxes either.

If you are reincarnated, but you don’t have any idea who you were in your past lives, what difference does it make?

The NSA should create a lost & found hotline:

“I can’t find my keys.”
“They’re in the pocket of your gray denim pants that you threw in the dirty laundry last night after you got home from Janine’s party.”
“Gee, thanks NSA.”
“Glad to help.”

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