February 2, 2005
Dear Mr. Bartlett,
I am a professional writer who would like to redirect his talents toward service to country. Although some may scoff at the idea of putting my country before myself, I say that a life without service to something higher is not a life well lived. So I offer my considerable talents to your administration in any way that you may see fit. In case you need some parameters in this area, I have complied a list of ideas for you to consider for future articles.
1. Support for President Bush’s Social Security initiative — $10*
2. Defense of Gonzales as Attorney General nominee — $20
3. Puff pieces extolling accomplishments and patriotism of various
administration officials (Add $5 for Rumsfeld) — $5
4. Positive spin on Iraq — $25
5. Article vaguely implying prominent liberal is gay/adulterer/unpatriotic — $15
6. Article attacking “liberal press” — $8
7. Article asserting that there “100 prominent atheists serving in congress” — $10
8. Making Limbaugh, O’Reilly, Hannity, Coulter,etc. sound like rational human beings — $50
9. Spinning the torture thing — $10
10. Article extolling President Bush’s keen grasp of domestic and international policies — $100
Feel free to expand on this list as issues arise in the press. I look forward to getting my first assignment. Until then, thank you for your time.