Thursday, May 21, 2015

Christians think the world will end in September. Wanna bet?

According to a number of prominent conservative Christians, the world’s going to end this September. Yawn. I don’t know, something about blood moons and Israel and the Pope speaking to Congress… it’s a fundamentalist Christian’s wet dream of convergences where God finally gets out of his Laz-y-Boy and makes his way to Earth to tell the faithful, “Y’all were right. Kill the liberals.”

With silver-haired, pinched-faced pastor John Hagee leading the mob, Christians are getting their ascension robes dry-cleaned and cancelling any October plans they might have made.

Well, I’d like to issue them a challenge.

If you believe with all your heart that the world is going to end in September, you won’t have any problem participating in a small wager. If the world does end this fall, well, I’m screwed, you’re in heaven for eternity and we’ll all be spared one more sequel of The Expendables. If you’re wrong, however, and I’m still cleaning out the cat box on October 1, you, Mr. Hagee, will be responsible for collecting $10 million to be deposited into my checking account by the end of the year. And, you’ll donate another $10 million to the Bernie Sanders for President campaign (It’s not all about me).

I await your response in the comments section, Pastor Hagee. Any time now.

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