Without question, the biggest news of the weekend (sorry, Mayweather) was the announcements by former neurosurgeon Ben Carson and former head of Hewlett-Packard Carly Fiorina that they are running for President. Wow. A surgeon who knows how to fix brains, but doesn’t understand how they work and a former business dynamo who was consistently rated the worst CEO in America have joined the field of Republican luminaries campaigning for America’s top job.
There is actually only one Republican running for President, but it has five faces (and could end up having as many as 13). This multi-headed monstrosity is the creation of the evil Koch brothers whom we also have to thank for the Tea Party, which visibly sustains the hideous creature. The Kochenstein monster answers only to its masters and speaks in one voice, advocating regressive, repressive policies that are favored by the criminally insane and old white people with dementia.
If I were a rich man, I would award a large sum of money to anyone who could identify a significant policy difference between any of the current Republican candidates. They all speak Tea Party, a language filled with code words and dog whistles that provides a thin veil over their true racist, elitist, greedy selves. They are united in their hatred of Obama and his accomplishments, blaming everything from the Baltimore riots to Dutch Elm disease on the socialist, foreign-born uppity negro.
At least in the Democratic race there is a clear choice between a very moderate establishment candidate and a boat-rocking progressive socialist, but on the Republican side there are many different faces, but they are all saying the same things.
The Kochenstein monster stumbles forward, its mass increasing as its mind shrinks, terrorizing many in its path as it lurches towards its final destination: Washington, D.C. It’s time to grab the pitchforks and light the torches.