Repost. I've Been A Very Naughty President

The following phone conversation transcript was passed along to That’s Going Too Far! by Tara, a phone sex operator by day, suburban mother of two at night.


Tara answers the phone
Hi, sweety. How can I pleasure you?

Caller
Uh…my name’s Georgy.

Tara
Hello, Georgy. Is this your first time?

Caller
Yeah. I was in a meeting on the missile defense shield and all that talk of hard targets and kill ratios got me excited. I…needed some stress relief.

Tara
I was just lying on my bed naked, hoping you’d call.

Caller
You were waiting for me to call? Wow. You must be a mind reader, too. That’s amazing. What am I thinking now?

Tara
Mmm….you want to know what I’m doing with my hands.

Caller
That is fucking amazing. You’re right. I’m in a little office off of the West Wing with the door locked.

Tara
So you’re an actor.

Caller
Well, that is my job about 90 percent of the time.

Tara
Oh, your Texas accent is so sexy, it’s making me wet.

Caller
Really? Wow. Most people think it makes me sound stupid. You know, you really seem to understand me. Not like my wife.

Tara
Would your wife do herself? Like this…? Oooh

Caller
Are you kidding? I haven’t seen her naked in three years. She’d rather put knitting needles through her eyes than have a roll in bed.

Tara
You could imagine she’s here with me, and I’m getting her off.

Caller
Naw. That would be about as much fun as imagining Rumsfeld naked. Now you and Condi….

Tara
How’s your missile doing, Pardner? Getting ready to launch?

Caller
Actually, it launched when you said, “Hi, Sweety.” But I enjoy talking to you.

Tara
Yeah, it was wonderful for me too.

Caller
Maybe you’d like a private tour of the White House some time?

Tara
Sure. We could do it in Lincoln’s bed.

Caller
Uh, they don’t let me in there. Afraid I might break something. But there are plenty of other places. I think Clinton left a map.

Tara
You’re funny. Time’s about up, Georgy. Call me sometime and we’ll play, “I’m the naughty President” again.

Caller
Okay. I do love to play that game.

Hangs up.